Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present. See image Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. See image Joan Rivers
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet! See image Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'. See image Joan Rivers
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway. See image Joan Rivers