I’d heard about the ...

I’d heard about the Baptists from Jacob Henry’s mother. According to her, Baptists were a strange lot. They put you in water to see how holy you were. Then they ducked you under the water three times. Didn’t matter a whit if you could swim or no. If you didn’t come up, you got dead and your mortal soul went to Hell. But if you did come up, it was even worse. You had to be a Baptist.
 Robert Newton Peck

Quotes from the same author

Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.
 Robert Newton Peck