When shopping at Dunkin' ...

When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine

Quotes from the same author

Our mother's first gift to us comes at the moment we are born, because Mom, as she will subsequently remind us over and over, gives us the Gift of Life Like many of the gifts we receive from our mothers, the Gift of Life usually doesn't fit properly and is almost never returnable without a major hassle.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine
I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine
If you talk about yourself, he'll think you're boring. If you talk about others, he'll think you're a gossip. If you talk about him, he'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine
More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine
A careful blending of sarcasm, irony, and teasing, bickering has its own distinctive cadence and rhythm and is as difficult to master as French, Spanish, or any elective second language. Like Chinese, the fine points of bickering can be discerned in the subtle rise and fall of the voice. If not practiced properly, bickering can be mistaken for its less sophisticated counterpart: whining.
 See image
 Linda Sunshine