What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari
What if I couldn't read? I ...
Quotes from the same author
I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.
Aziz Ansari
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.
Aziz Ansari
Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari
I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari
So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face.
Aziz Ansari
