These are all direct quotes, ...

These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I\'m going to use the name of a famous American poet: \'You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!\' \'Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E. Cummings, but I think I\'m gonna pass.\' \'You Robert Frost-ing Nikki Giovanni! Get a life, nerd. You\'re a virgin.\' \'Hey bro, you need to go outside and get some fresh air into you. Or a girlfriend.\' I need to get a girlfriend into me? I think that shows a fundamental lack of comprehension about how babies are made.
These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I'm going to use the name of a famous American poet: 'You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!' 'Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E. Cummings, but I think I'm gonna pass.' 'You Robert Frost-ing Nikki Giovanni! Get a life, nerd. You're a virgin.' 'Hey bro, you need to go outside and get some fresh air into you. Or a girlfriend.' I need to get a girlfriend into me? I think that shows a fundamental lack of comprehension about how babies are made.
 John Green

Quotes from the same author

There are at least two distinct meanings of 'hot': there is the, like, normal human definition which is that 'this individual seems suitable for mating'. And then there's the weird, culturally constructed definition of 'hot' which means, 'that individual is malnourished and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts'. Like, I think if you went back to the 18th century and asked a 15-year-old boy, 'Would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts?' that 15-year-old boy would probably be like ... 'What's plastic?'
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 John Green
Right, except I'm not going to lie to my mom, because what kind of (man) lies to his own mother?
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 John Green
I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.
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 John Green
But mothers lie. It's in the job description.
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 John Green
The phrase booze and mischief left me worrying I'd stumbled into what my mother referred to as "the wrong crowd," but for the wrong crowd, they both seemed awfully smart.
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 John Green