The absolute truth is the ...

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
 Carl Reiner

More phrases

Don't settle in the land of barely enough. That is where you are, it is not who you are. That's your location, it's not your identity. No matter what it looks like, have an abundant mentality.
The by-product is that they more people you help, the "richer" you become, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and definitely financially.
 T. Harv Eker
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.

Quotes from the same author

When you denigrate people, they have two ways to fight back - with their fists and guns, or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing, they're not going to hit you.
 Carl Reiner
Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.
 Carl Reiner
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
 Carl Reiner
My father was a watchmaker and an inventor. I saw him working in the house every day. The work ethic, I got from him. He worked hard and he never complained about it.
 Carl Reiner