Some people think having large breasts makes a wom...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Rita Rudner

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it.

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him.

The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Rita Rudner

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Rita Rudner

I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Rita Rudner

Some people think having ...