So my mum bought a jacuzzi, ...

So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.'
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 Russell Howard

Quotes from the same author

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.
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 Russell Howard
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
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 Russell Howard