Quotes Will Rogers - page 2

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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers\' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don\'t get a loan.

See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

Parades should be classed as a Nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison. They stop more work, inconvenience more people, stop more traffic, cause more accidents, entail more expense, and commit and cause I don't remember the other hundred misdemeanors.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

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You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.

Legalize racing in every State. Sure people will bet, but they get to see the horses run and you certain can't see General Motors and General Electric and General Utility run when you bet on them.

Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse. It must be to his bravery, you can tell it's not to his horsemanship.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste.

Elections are a good deal like marriages. There\'s no accounting for anyone\'s taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it\'s the same with public officials.

Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

If your Income Taxes go to help out the less fortunate, there could be no legitimate kick against it in the world. This is becoming the richest, and the poorest Country in the world. Why? Why, on account of an unequal distribution of the money.

President Coolidge said, 'I don't want the Government to go into business.' Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn't worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

America already holds the record for freak movements. Now we have a new one. It's called "Restoring Confidence." Rich men who never had a mission in life outside of watching a stock ticker are working day and night "restoring confidence." Writers are working night shifts, speakers' tables are littered up, ministers are preaching statistics, all on "restoring confidence.

Now I am not unpatriotic, and I want to do my bit, so I hereby offer my services to my President, my country and my friends to do anything, outside of serving on a commission, that I can in this great movement. But you will have to give me some idea of where "confidence" is. And just who you want it restored to.

There is a tremendous movement on to get lower taxes on earned incomes. Then will come the real problem, 'Who among us on salary are earning our income?'

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I\'m not a real movie star. I\'ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.