Quotes Mark Twain - page 15

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I don\'t speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don\'t know. I\'ve not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I\'m not in any hurry.
I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Adam and Eve entered the world naked and unashamed - naked and pure-minded. And no descendant of theirs has ever entered it otherwise. All have entered it naked, unashamed, and clean in mind. They entered it modest. They had to acquire immodesty in the soiled mind, there was no other way to get it. ... The convention mis-called "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anyone's whim - anyone's diseased caprice.
I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.