Quotes Ambrose Bierce - page 8
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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.
JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.
A penny saved is a penny to squander.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Idiot - A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need
TRUCE, n. Friendship.
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
