Quotes Ambrose Bierce - page 3

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Worms\'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Granitarium. Worms\'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but \
Worms'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Granitarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.
ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
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SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!
Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
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Duck-bill, n.  Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.