Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
Police arrested two kids ...
Quotes from the same author
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms
Tommy Cooper
I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.
Tommy Cooper
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Tommy Cooper
