My mother tells this story ...

My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realize I was going to get educated.
 Moon Unit Zappa

Quotes from the same author

I had a friend whose family had dinner together. The mother would tuck you in at night and make breakfast in the morning. They even had a spare bike for a friend. It just seemed so amazing to me.
 Moon Unit Zappa
Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.
 Moon Unit Zappa
I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.
 Moon Unit Zappa