It's amazing--my parents call ...

It's amazing--my parents call everything a discussion. If I were standing across the street, firing a bazooka at my mother, while my father was launching mortar back at me, and Jeffery was charging down the driveway with a grenade in his teeth, my parents would say we should stop having this public "discussion".
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 Jordan Sonnenblick

Quotes from the same author

(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)
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 Jordan Sonnenblick
Not fair? Oh, I'm sorry I get this lovely laptop computing device when all you get is the ability to walk, control your hands, and know you'll survive until your eighteenth birthday." Then the kid was going, "Uh, I didn't mean..." But Tad wasn't done yet. While the whole class watched in horror, he put his hands through the metal support braces on the arms of his wheelchair and forced himself to stand up. Then he took a shaky little step to the side, gestured toward the chair, and said, "Why don't you take a turn with the laptop? You can even have my seat.
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 Jordan Sonnenblick
I seriously think I could have sat in the middle of the kitchen floor rubbing two sticks together over a pile of dynamite blocks and gasoline cans, and my parents would be oblivious, as long as I was keeping myself occupied.
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 Jordan Sonnenblick
This was the kid who used to toddle over to my bed at 6 o’ clock in the morning every weekend morning to pull on my blankets so I’d get up and watch cartoons with him. This was the kid who once made me play Hungry Hungry Hippos for an hour straight, until I thought my hands were going to fall off from slamming down those dumb little levers to make the hippos’ heads move. This was the kid who had spent an entire days at a time begging me to play Chutes and Ladders with him. And now he was feeling too sick to play with me.
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 Jordan Sonnenblick
A typical weeknight when he was home like this: 1. Sit down and try to do homework. 2. Get interrupted by Jeffrey: Please play with me! 3. Ignore brother, try to do homework. 4. Get interrupted by Jeffrey: Come ON, Steven! I’m BORED! 5. Beg Jeffrey for five minutes of peace. 6. Get begged for five minutes of play: Steven, you never, ever play with me—ever! 7. Move entire homework operations center to different room. 8. Repeat steps #1-7 as directed by small drugged maniac.
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 Jordan Sonnenblick