If you gave a bag of potato ...

If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying to hand him an abortion.
 Dana Gould

Quotes from the same author

The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
 Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
 Dana Gould
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
 Dana Gould
I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
 Dana Gould
Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
 Dana Gould