I married your mother because I wanted children, i...

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.

Groucho Marx

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Groucho Marx

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Groucho Marx

I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down

Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

I married your mother because ...