I hope I go to Heaven, and ...

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'
 Herb Caen

Quotes from the same author

Satire of satire tends to be self-canceling, and deliberate shock tactics soon lose their ability to shock, especially when they're too deliberate.
 Herb Caen
One day if I do go to heaven...I'll look around and say, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.
 Herb Caen
A city is where you can sign a petition, boo the chief justice, fish off a pier, gaze at a hippopotamus, buy a flower at the corner, or get a good hamburger or a bad girl at 4 A.M. A city is where sirens make white streaks of sound in the sky and foghorns speak in dark grays. San Francisco is such a city.
 Herb Caen
There are a thousand viewpoints in the viewtiful city.
 Herb Caen
Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?
 Herb Caen