I got my driver's license ...

I got my driver\'s license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, \
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go
 Steven Wright

More phrases

Inspirational leaders need to have a winning mentality in order to inspire respect. It is hard to trust in the leadership of someone who is half-hearted about their purpose, or only sporadic in focus or enthusiasm.
 Sebastian Coe
I've always had the mentality of: work hard, get to bed early, focus - and let your work speak for itself.
 Olivia Palermo
The fixed determination to have acquired the warrior soul, to either conquer or perish with honor, is the secret of victory.
 George S. Patton
SHUCHU RYOKU - Focus all your energy to one point.
 Gozo Shioda
See first with your mind, then with your eyes, and finally with your body.
 Yagyu Munenori

Quotes from the same author

My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.
 Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
 Steven Wright
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
 Steven Wright
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
 Steven Wright
When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
 Steven Wright