Every comedian is furious. ...

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I\'m unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I\'m angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I\'m very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
 Joan Rivers

Quotes from the same author

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
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 Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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 Joan Rivers
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
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 Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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 Joan Rivers
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway.
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 Joan Rivers