Did you ever hear of a kid ...

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
 Jackie Mason

Quotes from the same author

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
 Jackie Mason
Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!
 Jackie Mason
On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.
 Jackie Mason
Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.
 Jackie Mason
As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.
 Jackie Mason