Children cannot be fooled by ...

Children cannot be fooled by empty praise and condescending encouragement. They may have to accept artificial bolstering of their self-esteem in lieu of something better, but what I call their accruing ego identity gains real strength only from wholehearted and consistent recognition of real accomplishment, that is, achievement that has meaning in their culture.
 Erik Erikson

Quotes from the same author

Mans true taproots are nourished in the sequence of generations, and he loses his taproots in disrupted developmental time, not in abandoned localities.
 Erik Erikson
The sense of identity provides the ability to experience one's self as something that has continuity and sameness, and to act accordingly.
 Erik Erikson
You've got to learn to accept the law of life, and face the fact that we disintegrate slowly.
 Erik Erikson
Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure. Do not mistake a child for his symptom.
 Erik Erikson
The growing child must derive a vitalizing sense of reality from the awareness that his individual way of mastering experience (his ego synthesis) is a successful variant of a group identity and is in accord with its space-time and life plan.
 Erik Erikson