But then, look at me. My ...

But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I\'m shaped like a tube. Plus, I\'m an alcoholic, a \
But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I'm shaped like a tube. Plus, I'm an alcoholic, a "survivor" of childhood sexual abuse, was raised in a cult and have no education. So, really, if you think about it, the only thing that separates me from the guy with the stinky foot and no teeth is a book deal and some cologne.
 Augusten Burroughs

Quotes from the same author

But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.
 See image
 Augusten Burroughs
My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
 See image
 Augusten Burroughs
I couldn't help but think, This car is taking me to a mental hospital and my mother is treating it like open-mic night at a Greenwich Village café.
 See image
 Augusten Burroughs
I told myself, 'All I want is a normal life'. But was that true? I wasn't so sure. Because there was a part of me that enjoyed hating school, and the drama of not going, the potential consequences whatever they were. I was intrigued by the unknown. I was even slightly thrilled that my mother was such a mess. Had I become addicted to crisis? I traced my finger along the windowsill. 'Want something normal, want something normal, want something normal', I told myself.
 See image
 Augusten Burroughs
My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron.
 See image
 Augusten Burroughs