Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!
On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.
As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.