A mate of mine has just told ...

A mate of mine has just told me he\'s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said \
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!
 Billy Connolly

More phrases

Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
I think there was the studio mentality for a long time that women and girls can relate to a male hero, but boys and men can't relate to a female hero.
 Jennifer Lawrence
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
 Harriet Tubman
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
 William Ellery Channing
You must do the things you think you cannot do.

Quotes from the same author

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
 Billy Connolly
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
 Billy Connolly
I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
 Billy Connolly
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.
 Billy Connolly
When you involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
 Billy Connolly