A friend is someone you can ...

A friend is someone you can call in the middle of the night when your man is gone, or you wish he would go, or you suspect your cellulite is winning - or even just to prove to yourself that there is someone you can call in the middle of the night.
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 Anne Beatts

Quotes from the same author

I have a theory about American men -- I think they think women are boys who don't know how to throw a ball very well. American women are forced into the role of being men without penises, of being men who haven't quite been able to make it. If women don't want to be pussycats, then they get forced into the role of being almost as good as men. Which is lousy.
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 Anne Beatts
I'm often accused of 'going too far,' but I recognize that behind my desire to shock is an even stronger desire to evade the 'feminine' stereotype: 'You say women are afraid of mice? I'll show you! I'll eat the mouse!
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 Anne Beatts
There was this real fear in doing Square Pegs after getting such a fast ride to glory on Saturday Night Live. I was afraid that the word would be peaks early, fails to live up to promise.
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 Anne Beatts
If you want to do something, try it! The worst anyone you ask for help can do is say no.
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 Anne Beatts